JPM Vol Desk
427 views8/26/2026
A typical day on the JPM Rates Volatility Trading Desk quoting for clients
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| 00:00 - 00:05 | So the customer comes in and asks for an inquiry |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | I show horrific two way each way |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | Why do I care? I hate hedge funds |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | "No axe either way, happy to price" |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | Client gives snarky response about my width |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | HE THINKS I CARE LOL |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | LMAOOOOOO |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | Broooooo I spend all day |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | asking my CME brokers |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | Where the skew is lmaooo i don't trade |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | You think I understand vol? |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | Everything is just calibrate to exchange lmaoooo |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | "Where's ICAP?" |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | "Where's TOTEM?" |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | "Charge 10v each side" |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | "What's having a view?" |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Our Delta Limit is 10k |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | You think I can have views? |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | The last guy that had a view |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | Lost 100MM in March LMAOO |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | They had to rip off |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | 20 corporates to earn that back |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | "We want risk takers at this bank" |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | "People who understand cross-asset" |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | and I said, and I said |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | "Uh ... does correlation trade on CME?" |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | LMAOOOOOOO |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | I only know how to |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | calibrate around CME ATM vol |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | And charge around it loool |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | LOL |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | These hedge funds |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | Think we care about their flow |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | LMAO brother |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | I ripped off 5 corporates this morning |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | and made 100% |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | of my weekly PNL |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | You think I know how to trade? |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | My entire job |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | Is praying corp clients don't know |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | that my "mid adjusts" |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | are just me pulling shit out of my ass |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | and then I take 70% of the PNL as "Reserves" |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | and pay Sales Credits on the 30% |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | The 70% I slowly release and |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Call it "Trading PNL" |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | LMAOOOOOOO |